Overview:
Understanding who your teacher is and reducing personal control over student development and progress.
As a full-time first-term teacher’s aide, I was living the dream. I built a class family that followed the rules, we got along well and spread love among each other to such an extent that we became the envy of other classes. I faced many responsibilities and found a way to show up in class.
I came to a conclusion from this first-year teaching experience: “To my unborn children, I will make a successful mother.” I was able to see it in this preview lens of caring for first graders however the tales are temporary in the classroom. In the second term, we welcomed a new friend (let’s call him Luke) who was very different from us. He could not speak, he would throw things at others when he was angry and he would scream uncontrollably during the lesson. My students and I had never met anyone like him and that was our first contact with special needs in the classroom.
Students with special needs are found in every community of the world and I finally had one in my class. During the times when his speech was interrupted, my class was interrupted and I gave corrections that he would not stick to, other students would stare at me in surprise wondering why I left him, and they also saw the change in my attention to the extent that in the Social studies class in the afternoon, Luke started crying uncontrollably and threw a wooden clock where I had been playing.
I was already tired of his actions. I was also trying to meet my lesson so that other students wouldn’t suffer so I turned to look at him to make sure he was okay and then turned to finish the note. Not long after, two students started to fight each other using a rubber band which was disrupting the class and as I was tired I canceled the class exit which was meant to be at the end of the class. It was then that Nicole said, “Ms. Robert doesn’t like us anymore.” The class hummed in agreement.
That’s when I realized I had to fix it. I didn’t know how to do that at the time so I scheduled a class discussion the next morning to think about what I was going to say. I also spoke to the head teacher of the class and he agreed to the morning discussion explaining that the children did not understand Luke so they needed to have a discussion.
I also realized when I was preparing for the meeting that I was trying hard to get Luke into our little family classroom. I realized that I was frustrated because all the efforts I made were caused by the unconscious belief that my child, who was disabled, needed my help and support to enter his new place, so I internalized the results of the failures we had when trying to learn something new. I analyzed the events in the classroom, I interpreted it to mean that I was failing to be the mother of a large class, an orderly teacher and her class, and I might have been a creep.
However, research has shown that for teachers, incidents of failure have the power to define how teachers see themselves and their work. This understanding should encourage personal reflection, well-being practices and resilience in their work
So, the next day, just before our morning rounds we all sat down and talked. I explained to them that Luke was special, and new to our class. And that’s why he needed more attention than usual. I asked them if they could see what makes him different and they raised their hands to answer “He doesn’t answer when you call him and he can’t talk or says he wants to cry and is crying. I was happy that they were careful. I went on to tell them that just because I have to help Luke get through the new term doesn’t mean I love them any less. I mentioned how happy I would be if you supported me on this journey by showing Luke the bathroom, watching him in case he was carrying a sharp object, escorting him to places he doesn’t know. Me too I promised them that I would take them out that day as they had already received it.
In the weeks that followed, I watched my little ones take turns being Luke’s helpers. They used to shout at me when there was a problem, they couldn’t control themselves. One day, Luke came to class late and his whole class family rushed to hug him. Watching them love their disabled friend, making sure he was included made me not need to save him from his weakness but to look closely at him and understand where he needs help, and give him goals that support his abilities. I was also able to teach the whole class about his characteristics and how we can work together to provide a safe and inclusive environment for everyone.
Next time, you find yourself jumping into “Saviour-mum” mode pause and analyze the situation. Does the situation require your input or not? Will this have a positive effect on them or will it confirm who you are as a teacher. Being a special needs teacher is not easy but you do a great job.
