Financial uncertainty is causing some young adults to pause dating and other relationship milestones.
That does not mean that young people have completely given up on finding a partner. Dating app Coffee Meets Bagel’s latest Real Dating Report found that 92% of US dating people ages 21 to 35 are looking for marriage or a long-term relationship.
But that same survey found that 54% ranked their finances as their number one priority in life, ahead of love and relationships.
“Financial stability has been seen as important in recent years, especially among Gen Z, who have entered a world where the economic climate has changed,” Quincy Yang, CEO of Coffee Meets Bagel, told Money. “Housing, groceries and everyday expenses make relationships feel connected and the need for long-term planning.”
A recent study by Bank of America also found that almost a quarter of Generation Z – those born between 1997 and 2012 – have put off taking the next step in a relationship because of money worries.
Money worries have long formed milestones like home ownership and starting a family. Increasingly, they are influencing the way young adults approach dating – affecting when they pursue a relationship, what they want in a partner and what it means to feel ready to commit.
The rising cost of dating
Dating is no longer separate from financial planning. It’s part of you.
Average daily costs now stand at about $189, up from $168 last year, according to BMO’s Real Financial Progress Index. Americans who travel on dates spent an average of $2,323 in the past year.
As those costs rise, dating habits have begun to change. Half of Americans say they’ve taken days off or taken less expensive jobs because of affordability challenges. The frequency of dating has also decreased, from about 14 dates a year in 2025 to about 12, BMO found.
For many, the problem may not be frequency but quantity. According to BMO, nearly half (47%) of singles say dating is no longer financially viable. from s
That sentiment echoed online, with some users on Reddit’s R/simpleliving forum describing dating as an expense that competes with other budget priorities, from saving for emergencies to paying bills. Others said they have scaled back dating or given it up altogether because the costs outweigh the benefits.
But in some cases, that concern shapes behavior in subtle ways. Money worries don’t just limit how much people spend on dating – it can also affect who they choose to date in the first place.
“Financial anxiety affects the way we think, feel, and behave when dealing with money, and that extends to everyone we date—or don’t meet—,” says Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, financial expert at Afterpay and Cash App.
He adds that people often instill money-related fears in potential partners, avoiding similarities or situations that feel out of place with their economic pressures or pasts.
“If someone’s financial concerns show up as they believe that eating out means they won’t be home, they may swipe past dating profiles that include dinner,” says Bryan-Podvin.
“For some, their anxiety is a response to something that happened in the past. If someone is having trouble seeing each other because of the amount of debt their ex had, their anxiety may be deeper than an imagined fear.”
When financial stress affects relationship readiness
Money problems can also affect whether people feel ready to pursue a relationship. According to Dr. Jessica Meers, a licensed clinical psychologist, says ongoing economic hardship can erode self-esteem and make vulnerability feel more difficult.
“It’s less ‘I’m choosing my savings over dating’ and more ‘I don’t feel comfortable right now coming out to someone else,'” Meers said. “These differences are important because one is empowering and the other is painful, but the data often can’t show the difference.”
That concept also came up in interviews with young adults discussing online dating. In response to a Reddit post seeking experiences on the subject, several users said they delayed dating until they felt financially stable.
One Reddit user wrote, “I’ve always felt that it’s the right thing to be financially independent before dating.” Another said they want to pay off a house, own a reliable car and build up some cash before pursuing a relationship again – although they also admitted those milestones can feel out of reach.
Others say dating doesn’t have to be expensive, pointing to low-cost or free activities. “Days are as expensive as you want them to be. A game of chess in the park is a day. Going to a local free event is a day,” wrote one editor.
Financial consistency is more important than ever
While the cost of dating may make some adults rethink how and when they pursue relationships, money also shapes who they choose to date.
“I’m 30 years old, living in Denver, and I have three businesses. From the outside, that probably sounds like I have it all, but dating has been one of the hardest parts of my 20s, and I think money is a big reason why,” said Lauren Brychell, founder and consultant of Equity Elevated Consulting.
Brychell says financial compatibility – not just income – has become a key factor in how he evaluates partners. “I’m not like, do you make good money. Like, you actually think about money the way I do,” he says.
“I’ve dated guys who were successful by normal standards but had no interest in building anything beyond their next paycheck. That’s stupid to me right now.”
A Bank of America survey found that 61% of Gen Z prioritize partners with similar financial goals, while nearly three-quarters (74%) say being financially responsible is important when choosing a partner. Additionally, 43% say reckless spending habits are a romantic break-in.
“Gen Z is rewriting the rulebook of what it means to be financially ready for love. It’s not just about income anymore — it’s about alignment,” said Will Smayda, head of financial institutions at Bank of America.
That understanding goes beyond wages or net worth. Many young people are looking for partners who have similar attitudes about spending, saving and planning for the long term.
“Daters don’t necessarily want bank balances on the first date, though [they’re] paying more attention to values such as ambition, career direction and how to spend money,” said Yang.
In the company’s latest Real Dating Report, nearly 60% of respondents said ambition or drive is a must-have quality in a partner. Yang says that shows a wider flexibility in evaluating potential partners through a romantic and functional lens, asking, “Can we build a stable life together?”
‘Money is part of a loving relationship’
Although financial stability has become more important, experts caution against viewing it as a necessity for happiness or communication.
Bryan-Podvin says people don’t need all the money issues before pursuing a relationship. “There is nothing wrong with seeking stability, but progress and a plan are also attractive,” he said.
Instead of waiting until all their ducks are in a row, he encourages people to focus on making meaningful progress while being open to other life experiences. That may be especially important for young people who feel pressured to reach a certain level of financial success before pursuing more.
In the end, the question may not be whether love or money is more important. Find a way to pursue both in a way that works for you and your long-term goals.
“Money is part of a romantic relationship, period,” Bryan-Podvin said. “Dreaming about the future together, including how it is funded, is very intimate and loving.”
